What I learned from journaling for more than a decade - Journaling guide: part 1

In these articles, I will share all my tips and tricks for how to journal, what it brought me and what it can bring you. There is not one perfect way to journal that works for everyone. Journaling is a deeply personal experience, so feel free to adapt, customize and discard any of the tips I give you here.

What you will find in this series:

• my personal experience with journaling: how I started journaling, what it brought me over the years.
• In why should you try journaling? I listed the benefits that journal could give you, as knowing why you’re doing something is probably the best way to keep you motivated
• a quick journaling guide: I tried to list all of the journaling tips I have found in my own practice and online, gathered in a not-too-messy way
• my journaling “don’ts”: Here are some misconceptions and expectations that could hold you back in getting started, building consistency or seeing the benefits of journaling
• resources: Here are some videos and articles which have influenced me and my journaling practice over the years, or could give you other visions, tips and ideas that might work for you

Now that we’ve laid the plans, let’s dive into my own journaling experience!

I have been journaling for as long as I can remember. My first journal was a travel journal, when I was around 5 or 6. At first, I didn’t write in first person, instead writing down what my favorite toy was doing, and drawing them (my plush was kind of a boy but sometimes a girl, I wasn’t quite sure) at the park and at the swimming pool.
My mother made me keep a journal over our vacations in the US. She sometimes tells me I was very upset every time because I was too tired to write, but she still made me do it.
Someone gifted me a pink disney princesses journal with a little lock and key when I was in primary school. I wrote down what I had done at school, and my reactions to school drama. I think I over-dramatized it for the sake of having something to write.

Then I had a small Donal Duck journal, then one we made at school by binding some sheets of paper together with a wool thread. During that time, I took a break from writing because I couldn’t find it in me to write that my grandfather had died, and writing about anything else felt futile. The same thing happened when my grandmother passed away a few years later.

Some time after that, in middle school, I upgraded to beautiful paperblanks journals. I was inspired by Emily the strange novels to write down my adventures, but was frustrated that my life was very boring so I had nothing to write.
The end of middle school was a hard time for me, and journaling gave me a place to vent and share my interests.
I took a break from writing right after high school, being overwhelmed by my studies, but I journaled a lot in the transitional summer before I entered my engineering school. I journaled as a way to self-soothe, be creative and process my emotions. I wrote a lot about celibacy and self-love in my journal around that time.
Then, during the lockdowns I picked up journaling full speed again.
When I moved to the other side of the ocean, I wanted to capture everything I was living and feeling and wrote almost every day for a few months, which is more than I usually write.
Currently, I write whenever I feel like it, not pressuring myself too much. I know that I always feel better and sleep better when I write right before bed, because it makes it easier to let go of the thoughts that race in my head when I have written them down.

I was lucky in that my family never invaded my privacy or asked me anything about my journals, and were supportive of that activity. However, even knowing that there was a very low risk of anyone reading my notes, I found it hard to be completely honest in my journal about the things I was most ashamed of or that made me feel uncomfortable. I have always been overly self-conscious about future me cringing over what I have written, in an almost paralyzing way, limiting what I allow myself to write. Confronting uncomfortable topics on paper also gives them more substance, makes them more real. Just like when I couldn’t write that people had passed away, because writing it down would set it in stone, make it real and irreversible, whereas keeping it as just a thought in my head made it possible to pretend nothing had changed. If I don’t write down a certain event or feeling, there is no proof that it ever happened, that I ever felt it. But hiding things unfortunately doesn’t make them disappear, and the only way to process them, to grieve or make any progress is to confront them, when the time is right.

I have gotten better at being more honest in my journal recently, although I am not completely there yet. I believe it’s ok to take your time in confronting certain painful experiences and feelings, and you shouldn’t pressure yourself too much in journaling about them. Some things can live only in our heads, and that’s okay too.

My writing style changed a lot over the years, from documenting the events of my day towards documenting my emotions and reflections about the world, and writing poetry. Journaling gives me the opportunity to be more honest, open and take a step back to see my patterns of thinking, my blind spots and my beliefs about myself. When I don’t write for a long time, my thoughts feel scattered, messy, disorganized. I worry I will forget things, and I feel like I have too many tabs open in my brain at the same time. It is something I have always, and will always come back to, whenever I want to bring more balance, peacefulness and calm in my life and in my head.

See you soon in the next article, where I’ll share the reasons you should try journaling.